'It taught me to listen': Gareth Thomas warns of hidden crisis in queer community
The Welsh rugby star is calling for open dialogue on grief, stigma and drug misuse - as a fifth of LGBTQ+ people have lost someone to drug-related death
Last updated 4 hours ago
New research has found that one in five (19%) LGBTQ+ individuals in the UK have experienced the loss of someone due to drug-related death.
The data - commissioned by You Are Loved - has led to a national call to break the silence around the hidden burden of grief, stigma and harm within the queer community.
The findings reveal a crisis that has rarely been reflected in the wider national conversation around addiction, mental health and inequality, with more than a quarter (28%) of LGBTQ+ people surveyed said they had used drugs in sexual settings in the past year.
Nearly two-thirds (63%) said the issue remains stigmatised within the community itself, while six in ten adults said they are unfamiliar with the term chemsex, underlining how poorly understood the subject remains beyond those directly affected by it.
Gareth Thomas, the first openly gay rugby union player, is leading the new campaign, called 'Out in the Open', to tackle queer mental health and drug misuse openly and connect people with practical support.
The Welsh rugby legend personally witnessed the impact of chemsex-related tragedies, including two of his close friends falling into comas.
He's opened up with Hits Radio Pride, and revealed that the campaign has made him reflect on his past experiences.
He said: "I feel it's almost a tragedy in itself that there has to be a shocking survey number for us to start the conversation - but I've felt it myself, that there's a huge stigma around this topic.
"I really wanted to be a part of this conversation because of my personal experience, standing at the bedside of a close friend who was on life support, due to the effects of taking drugs.
"This was someone who had a smile on his face - and when he eventually came around, I asked him why he got into such a hole with this problem.
"He said he felt lonely, ashamed, and not happy - and that made me ask myself why I hadn't had a conversation about this earlier with him.
"Maybe, when I was asking how he was, why didn't I stop and take attention to what he was actually saying?
"And when I got connected with this project, my instinct was to say no, because of the stigma around it - and when I think about it, that's exact reason why I didn't start the conversation with my friend.
"Throughout this campaign, what I've learnt, is that when we want to speak to somebody to get help about something that's very stigmatised, we don't want to talk to the people closest to us, because of that fear of rejection.
"That's why You Are Loved and Switchboard - talking to a stranger - is sometimes really helpful."
'Ask people how they really are'
Addiction, mental health and inequality have all been called an unspoken 'crisis' - which exactly why we're being urged to open up with one another.
Gareth told us the thing he's learnt the most about himself since working with You Are Loved and this campaign is a simple message: and that's to listen.
He added: "I went into this campaign having a chat with some great people, and I ended up listening and learning more than I contributed.
"Back when I was helping my dear friend who was on life support, it made me think that I was talking too much, and not really listening at what he had to say.
"With this campaign, I urge people to listen to other people, and not just ask someone how they are.
"You should ask how they really are - and be very aware of people and how they react to the questions they ask."
Support is available
The statistics revealed in the new reserach come from Grindr, in partnership with You Are Loved, a non-profit organisation focused on community and peer-support for LGBTQ+ people.
Out in The Open aims to bring a difficult conversation into the mainstream and connect people with practical support.
For those seeking assistance, You Are Loved offers support.
Switchboard is the national LGBTQ+ support line and can be reached at 0800 0119 100.
There's drug and alcohol support available via the LGBT Foundation.
There are useful contacts for those seeking mental health support through Mind and the NHS website.