Corby woman says she still waiting for NHS counselling, 14 years after losing her baby
Lauren Trevillyan paid for her own counselling after losing baby Ollie.
Women from Northamptonshire tell us it's so important people feel able to share their baby loss story, as events take place to mark Baby Loss Awareness Week.
Lauren Trevillyan from Corby has organised the Corby Library Ribbon Remembrance Wall.
Lauren lost baby Ollie 14 years ago, after suffering life-threateningly pre-eclampsia, Ollie was born premature and sadly only lived a short time.
She says the support she received in hospital was fantastic, but after, it was non-existent:
"Luckily, I was signposted toSandswhen I was still in Coventry Hospital and then I reached out to my GP for some counselling, probably about six or eight months after having Ollie. And 14 years later, still waiting for that phone call to have that counselling.
"There was a debate in the House of Commons this week about baby loss awareness and the bereavement care. And that's one of the things they're highlighting. So this year Sand's did a big report at the start of the year and four in five parents want support after they lose a baby. One in six actually get it through the NHS."
Lauren says she feels lucky to have had supportive family and friends and been able to pay for her own counselling:
"But obviously everyone's not got the availability to do that. It's one of the most traumatic things I think you can go through. So to not have anyone to talk to about that quite easily, I feel like you could end up in very deep depression with not knowing how to get out of that.
"I think talking about it and making this conversation more common and less taboo is one of the best ways we can deal with that."
She's organised the ribbon wall for the past few years at the Corby Library and says last year there was a message from a woman who lost a baby in 1975:
"I never actually got to speak to the person that left the ribbon, but I thought that might have been the first time they've publicly been able to"
Lauren says it's always been a conversation in her household including with her 13 year old son.
Talking about the grief of baby loss is something Towcester woman Naomi Troup is also supportive of. Her baby Oakley was born sleeping in 2019.
She says she found talking about Oakley with family and friends. She's organised the Towcester Water Meadows Ribbon Wall of Remembrance. She's attached different coloured ribbons to wooden tags with babies names or nicknames on as a way to honour the babies lost.
Naomi says the ribbons are often a way to spark conversation:
"When I was putting the ribbons up, three different people stopped and asked me what I was doing. And when I explained, they then shared their own story with me. One of the stories was actually a woman that lost a baby in the 1960s. So. And she was very open about the fact that it was just not talked about.
"She was told essentially just get over it and that's what we want to avoid, and that's what we want to really move away from."
Tonight Towcester Water Meadows will host a Wave of Light Event at 7pm, led by a celebrant, where people will be invited to light a candle and remember the babies they lost.
Naomi says it's a moment not just for parents but for grandparents, brother and sisters and extended families as well.