Workshops help Northumberland parents cope with their children's challenging behaviour
The classes, hosted by Northumberland Community Voluntary Action, give parents practical ways to calm their child down
Parents in Northumberland who are struggling to cope with their children's aggressive or challenging behaviour have been learning techniques to de-escalate difficult situations at home.
The free workshops are run by Anthony MacDonald, a key worker at Northumberland Community Voluntary Action (NCVA). Tony used his previous experience of developing a training programme in response to inadequacies of existing training for staff in residential care. The workshops aim to give parents caring for children with complex needs training in conflict de-escalation, as well as practical tools and emotional support.
Tony led the two-week Conflict Resolution course for parents and carers experiencing violent or challenging behavior from their children. Parents learned how to de-escalate volatile situations safely, recognize triggers, and access peer support.
Tony developed the training after meeting Lins Brown, whos' son's severe autism was leading to violent outbursts following a change in medication.
"The whole idea is to look at a proactive approach, rather than a reactive one" Tony told us.
"It's it's just about looking at the triggers to the pre conflict stage. Trying to ascertain what people want, especially if they're neurodiverse. More importantly because maybe it's that, if they're non verbal or unable to communicate verbally, it's kind of a guessing game."
"It's about understanding body language, physiology, the use of sensory language, your language patterns and how it's interpreted by others.
And we'll say that every day and every day in life, but not many people pay attention to it. And so it's just about raising awareness and giving them the tools and techniques so that they can remain safe and still care for their children."
Ten families experiencing challenges attended the sessions over two days. They shared their feedback with NCVA:
“Tony’s course about reducing restraint, preventing escalation and helping us understand what’s actually happening in the brain during crisis, learning about neurons forming through care and connection not fear - when managing violent or dangerous behaviour every day in a system where you are invisible or shamed for asking for support – has felt like a heavy coat of pressure being lifted from over us.”
“The “tool box” sounds like common sense but when you are in the middle of all of this, fighting for everything for the child you are supporting but facing the threat of violence from them daily, navigating complicated systems to get support and trying to hold the family together - you forget how changing your body language, breathing, changing your responses, keeping yourself safe… can calm the situation you are in.”
“This has given us (as parents) the opportunity to acknowledge our feelings and talk earnestly about how we feel to one another – we have been crisis managing for years but not actually properly talking to each other about how we feel and what support we need”.