Stalking survivor urges others to seek help to live free of fear
Alice has shared her story in a bid to help others
A survivor of stalking who turned to a charity supporting high-risk stalking victims in Gloucestershire for help is urging others to embrace help to escape their trauma.
Alice (not pictured above) was stalked by her former partner, who pretended to be a victim of stalking as well, before using social media to threaten her while also leaving food packages outside her home and following her home from clubs.
She reached out to FearFree for help, who guided her through the justice process and working with police. The charity supports high-risk, non-domestic abuse stalking victims in Gloucestershire. You can ask for support from FearFree through their website.
She says stalking isn't talked about enough, saying it's "overly romanticized or joked about", and that there needs to be greater awareness of its impact on people.
"I was so hesitant to contact the police," she said. "I didn't think they would take it seriously. I didn't think it was as bad as it actually was. And I think people do need to obviously reach out and embrace help if they feel they need to."
Alice's story
The abuse began during Alice's relationship and lasted several months as her then-partner pretended to be a victim.
"It started with social media accounts sending pictures of me and another ex to themselves," she said.
Once the relationship broke down, Alice explained that the harassment escalated significantly.
"It was loads of anonymous phone numbers calling probably about 30 times a day, lots of threatening texts, lots of social media accounts, while my ex-partner, who was the stalker, was leaving food outside of my house and following me home from clubs," she told us.
The escalation also included use of social media accounts impersonating Alice, where exposing images of her body would be posted and threats of sharing explicit images online were made.
Alice revealed she felt "completely betrayed" and has had to work hard to process what's happened to her, which has included counselling sessions.
She said: "I thought that we were both victims together and I spent a lot of time and energy making sure that they were okay too. And it feels like even my support network was taken away from me.
"I thought that we understood each other like nobody else in my life could really"
Alice explained that it took a huge amount of courage to finally point the finger at the perpetrator as they had started the ordeal together by reporting the fake stalking claims of her ex-partner to police.
Charity's support invaluable
Alice told us the help and guidance she had from FearFree was "incredible".
"They were my 'middleman' between my experience and the police," she said. "I had lots of meetings during the process to kind of explain the justice system, to support me whilst it was going to court and talking to the police.
Alice was supported through her journey by Faye, saying she "will always be Faye's biggest cheerleader".
Faye told us the key thing the charity wants to do is empower people reaching out for help.
"Often survivors, victim survivors feel extremely disempowered," she said. One of the main things that we do is helping them build trust in the system, build trust with the police, build trust with the criminal justice system, which we often do via education of this is what's going to happen next, what do you need from us, how can we support you in that."
She said the support is trauma informed and the charity will work hard to ensure that survivors voices are heard.
The charity makes it clear that people who reach out for help will be believed.
If you’re affected by issues raised in this article, there is help available from FearFree (Wiltshire) and The You Trust (Swindon) via their website or through one of the following services:
· The National Stalking Helpline is 0808 802 0300 (run by Suzy Lamplugh Trust) and Paladin is the National Stalking Advocacy Agency.
· The National Domestic Abuse Helpline is 0808 2000 247 (run by Refuge)
· The Men’s Advice Line, for male domestic abuse survivors is 0808 801 0327 (run by Respect)
· The National LGBT+ Domestic Abuse Helpline is 0800 999 5428 (run by Galop)
If you are in immediate danger always call 999.