'I survived a terror attack, but then the internet trolls came for me'
Emma Rushton is sharing her story to show the impact of online abuse and to let victims know they're not alone.
Last updated 1 day ago
Emma Rushton was enjoying a holiday in Berlin's Christmas markets when terrorists struck.
12 people were killed when a lorry ploughed through a packed city centre in December 2016.
Pure chance meant that she was not stood in the lorry's path, but the following hours and days saw her face a new challenge - as she was bombarded by online trolls.
Trolls strike after appearing in the media
Despite the trauma she'd witnessed in the market, Emma's experience as a journalist meant she was invited to speak to media from around the world as an eye-witness.
Her training meant she could set out the facts clearly and concisely, and TV companies were keen to hear her testimony.
But the reaction online opened her eyes to the world of internet trolls.
The abuse was appalling - aimed at someone who had just survived a terrorist incident.
Accused of being a 'crisis actor'
Speaking to Magic Senior Correspondent Mick Coyle she said: "'The immediate response (to speaking to the world media) was 'that hasn't happened' and 'a journalist just so happened to be there, did they? You're a liar' I was called a crisis actor, it was just a barrage of really horrific abuse."
She says the comments escalated across social media and in newspaper comment sections: "It wasn't even about the event itself, it was towards me, it was the way I looked, the way I sounded. You start to question yourself and your self worth."
Emma was also shocked by the violent nature of the abuse: "They said 'you're a liar and you deserve to be shot in the head, you deserve to have your throat slit' and ' and 'I'm going to kidnap you and torture you.'"
Long term effects of trolling
Emma eventually returned home, but the trauma of the attack, combined with the trolling she faced started to affect her mental health.
She said: "A terror attack is not personal against the people who are there. They just want to cause as much terror as possible. Online trolls - it is personal.
"You know logically, these people are in a room somewhere on their phones typing it out, but your brain starts to go 'these people are coming after me'".
Emma tried to move on from the incident with a house move, but when lockdown struck in 2020 it compounded some of the issues she'd faced as well as bringing a new challenge of life in a pandemic.
By 2023 she faced a mental health crisis and ended up in A&E as a result - with echoes of her experiences from seven years earlier still at the forefront of her mind: "I couldn't understand why I wasn't happy to be alive, why I didn't feel lucky because I wasn't one of the 12 people who died, why I wasn't embracing this opportunity to carry on living."
Turning pain into purpose - helping people take on the trolls
Emma says therapy has helped and she's now ready to share her story, in the hope it can alert people to the consequences of trolling and show other victims she's not alone.
She now uses her experience to inform her work in PR |newtab) - specialising in crisis response, how to respond to trolls safely, and how organisations can better support the people managing their social media accounts.
Her goal in 2026 is to help organisations and the people who work for them be better equipped if they ever face what she's been through.
She adds she wishes she'd received more support when she was in need and hopes that her experience will help people create a framework of support when internet trolls target others: "I'm not blaming myself and I'm not blaming the way people react when they're in a certain situation but maybe I'd have reacted differently (back then) if I had all this information."
Listen to Emma's story in full on the Mental Health Monday Podcast
Getting help if you're struggling with your mental health
If you're looking for mental health support where you live, you can find local services on the Hub of Hope.
If you, or someone you know, are in a mental health crisis, you can call 999.
Find out more about Emma's new project teaching organisations about tackling targeted abuse online.