'It got aggressive': Wigan couple receive abuse for sharing wedding celebration online
Steven and Conor Bonilla-Graham-Darby want to highlight their experience as reason for Pride events
Last updated 5 hours ago
A couple from Wigan have shared their experience of receiving homophobic messages after posting their wedding photographs on social media.
Steven and Conor Bonilla-Graham-Darby, from Leigh, were married in Liverpool back in June.
They celebrated their 15-year relationship at the wedding, where their 10-year-old son George was the best man.
But their photos were met with hundreds of abusive comments online.
'It got aggressive, and pretty alarming'
Steven, who is a floral designer, told Hits Radio Pride: "I was really excited to share our floral looks online, and our content creators got that privilege to post that content first, so whatever they captured on their social media platform, but what followed was a barrage of abuse.
"I wasn't really prepared for that.
"Over the years, we've had the odd comment, but not to this level, because it was getting quite ridiculous.
"It got aggrssive, and pretty alarming, really.
"There's been an entourage of abuse, but what also followed was thousands of comments of support - all just for sharing our love online.
"From my perspective, I think ignorance and culture both have played a really big part in this, and I think it's really important that we educate people on single-sex relationships.
"Even though we're not asking to be defended, for us, it's been a really hard time.
"When you share your love online, what you don't expect is for it to become an open platform for abuse.
"Heterosexual couples share their love every single day on the Internet, and that doesn't come with abuse.
"The whole thing affected me mentally, if I'm being honest, but to see the level of commitment and dedication of others willing to fight our corner really lifted me out of a dark place.
"It kind of makes it feel all the more worth it, to present ourselves online, as a same-sex family."
'We sometimes have to think twice before holding hands'
The couple's story gained traction on social media when Wigan Council posted about what had happened ahead of a local Pride event.
Stephen praised their support, saying how the local authority is 'willing to stand for what is right'.
He said: "I'm not a very political person, but there's other parties out there that would happily scrap the idea of funding such events, as Pride, so the fact that Wigan Council has stood tall and strong with that response, I just think is amazing.
"They're representing why it matters.
"Pride is truly an opportunity for us to feel safe, to show emotion, and to show affection - because that's something we can't always do.
"Holding hands, because of how the world is structured, means we sometimes have to think twice when walking down the street for our safety.
"This is something heterosexual couples never have to think about."
'I read comments on social media to to make sure I was safe to open my business'
Steven revealed the past few months has 'put a real dampener' to the start of what should have been a moment of joy.
He reflected: "Honestly, this experience has put a dampener on what was celebrated, and I've been working really hard for that not to continue.
"I'm really glad that we didn't go on a honeymoon straight away, because I know I would have been absolutely consumed by the comments online.
"As much and family and friends would tell me to keep away, I didn't read the comments because I wanted to take on-board what everyone was saying about us.
"I wanted to do it to make sure I was safe to open my business.
"That was a big thing for me, because some of the comments could have been seen as credible threats.
"I've had phone calls, messages on my business page with homophobic slurs... and when people take it to that extreme, that's where you have to be more concerned, and more wary.
"I always try to lead with love, and that's fundamentally what I'll always try to do in life.
"We don't want special treatment, we just want the privilege of what everyone else has got, which is to love openly, and raise our son, and celebrate life's biggest moments - all while staying safe.
"People need to start asking themselves what makes them so uncomfortable watching two people of the same sex getting married."
'Our wedding was a celebration of 15 years of love and commitment'
Steven also expressed his surprise and the emotional toll this took on the family - despite the what was meant to be a joyous occasion.
“Our wedding was a celebration of 15 years of love and commitment, and we wanted to add a floral, artistic flair to our photos to allow us to express ourselves in the way that we wanted to," he said on a social media post with Wigan Council.
"But never in my mind did I think we would get this level of abuse.
"It seemed like people came out of their way to direct their negative comments at us, which I don't think would happen to heterosexual couples posting their wedding photos.
"I think this shows why there should always be Pride events, to highlight the things that same-sex couples experience, and to make sure that the LGBTQ+ community has a safe space to celebrate whoever they are and to feel safe, seen, and express themselves in their truest form."