North Yorkshire woman urges others to look for signs of male domestic abuse

Jose, whose son Simon was tragically killed by his partner following a pattern of physical and emotional abuse, is sharing her story to raise awareness about domestic abuse affecting men.

Reflecting on warning signs, Jose noted behaviors including isolation from friends, constant checking up from his partner, and unexplained marks on Simon's face, describing, "There was blood on the pavement... putting it together with the marks on Simon’s face, not spending his birthday money on himself... I can see this now as all being controlling behavior."

"It's taken a long time to connect that my son was a victim of domestic abuse."

Describing the broader challenge in recognising abuse, Josie stated, "You don't get in a relationship with somebody who is immediately abusive. He loved her, and I wanted her to love him."

Josie shared her personal regret, saying, "I didn’t say, ‘I’m worried about you; what's happening to you is wrong, it’s abuse,’ because I didn't connect it."

"Anybody can suffer from domestic abuse just because it's a man. Don’t think they can't be bullied both verbally and physically."

"If I'd have spoken now, maybe Simon would still be here. Nobody can answer that".

"We don’t think about a man being controlled or beaten by a woman. Especially when Simon was well built and she was very slight in build."

"Look for the signs and if you’re worried, talk about it. It may cause a bit of a row but if they are kept safe as a result, it’s worth it."

Where to get help and support

If you’re affected by issues raised in this article, there is help available from IDAS here

Or call them on 03000 110 110

· The National Domestic Abuse Helpline is 0808 2000 247 (run by Refuge)

· The Men’s Advice Line, for male domestic abuse survivors is 0808 801 0327 (run by Respect)

· The National LGBT+ Domestic Abuse Helpline is 0800 999 5428 (run by Galop)

If you are in immediate danger always call 999.

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