"I thought I was going to die": Erdington mother on birth trauma
We have revealed one in 20 new mums develop PTSD from childbirth complications.
Last updated 19th Feb 2025
A mother-of-three from Erdington told us how she thought she was going to die during childbirth, as we shine a light on the issue of birth trauma.
It's an issue that impacts up to 30,000 women every single year, leaving 4-5% of new mums dealing with PTSD. An issue coming at a time we're told will be one of the happiest of our lives.
Divina Johnson's story
Divina has three children, but after her first experience with childbirth, she nearly decided not to have anymore children at all.
She told us how complications resulted in her experiencing trauma during and after childbirth:
"I had an epidural go wrong. The anaesthetist was laughing at me when she saw me in pain.
"She said that my reaction was not the usual reaction to an epidural. I know now that she had done it incorrectly.
"When it came to leaving the hospital, I was asked to take a shower.
"I tried to take my bandage off and I just had a panic attack, I have never had one before. Nothing was making sense that was coming out of my mouth, I was just pointing at the bandage.
"The nurse came over, rolled her eyes and just ripped the bandage off," she said.
"You are not broken, do not feel ashamed"
Divina is now a birth trauma recovery coach, supporting people who went through similar experiences to her.
She told us that the job has brought light into her life:
"It is waking other women up to know that what they experienced is actually not normal.
"You are not broken, do not feel ashamed. A lot of women feel guilt and shame. It is not your shame to feel, it is theirs," she said.
What is birth trauma?
Her experience echoes that of thousands of women each year, who come away from childbirth having gone through trauma.
Each case can be very different. Some reflect very long or very short labours, others are about physical issues while some are to do with thoughts and emotions.
Some birth trauma can be about concerns for baby's health, while others are about issues with the level of care on offer to mums at the time.
Around one in 20 new mums will develop PTSD as a result of their experience, and around 1% of birth partners also develop issues as a result of what they've witnessed from a bedside.
Where to get support if you're affected by birth trauma
If you've been impacted by birth trauma, and want to see what help is out there, the Birth Trauma Association has email support and a helpline you can call. They can also provide access to a private Facebook group.
Bliss offers support for people affected by sick or premature babies.
And there's more information about birth trauma, and further links to support via Make Birth Better.
If you want to find mental health services where you are, visit the Hub of Hope.