"Fireworks would leave me riddled with anxiety" says Teesside veteran
Pete White is recovering from PTSD and says it's possible for others too
A Teesside RAF veteran's been telling us about his recovery from PTSD as fireworks would leave him "riddled with anxiety."
38 year-old Pete White from Billingham served in Afghanistan for nine years before being discharged following his diagnosis.
Now, with bonfire night here and fireworks lighting up the sky, Pete said: "I struggled to be able to work during those periods, it affected my relationship, it affected my social life and I often couldn't leave the house. I had to pop out and get some milk for my son, who was a baby at the time, and I got back, parked up on the driveway, and I just broke down in tears because the anxiety was so overwhelming for me.
"When the fireworks actually start, the way I tend to describe it to people is imagine you're lying at home in bed, you hear a window break, and imagine that feeling of pressure to act, to protect, and it's a survival instinct and that's kind of what it feels like when fireworks kick off.
"It's not necessarily you believe that you're back in my case Afghanistan again, it's that it takes your brain back to that place and it feels the same kind of feelings and the same kind of sensations again.
"I would even have instances where I could smell the sand as if I was back in Afghanistan or I could feel the heat again even though I'm in Teesside and it's really not that hot, so it's a very intense sense of fear and pressure that just overtakes you."
Pete says he's now better thanks for support from Combat Stress and therapy but added that recovery's possible for other veterans.
He added: "Recovery is a journey so it doesn't automatically mean that it doesn't bother you at all and you're absolutely fine, however even if it's a one percent recovery it's still worth doing. It's just having those conversations.
"One of the hardest things to do is to have that initial conversations and say 'look, I need a bit of help here.' Because certainly in the military, we were told when I was in to 'man up', to 'toughen up', to 'get through it', you know 'head down and crack on' type of mentality.
"Please talk to someone. It could be Combat Stress, it could be somebody like Samaritans or one of the other amazing charities but it could just be a mate or one someone that you served with, just talk to someone and it's OK to pick up the phone and go 'I'm finding this tough right now.' It's not weak, it's not pathetic or anything like that. We're human, we struggle and that's OK."
Find out more about Combat Stress on their website. They are available for help 24/7 via their free helpline 0800 138 1619 or text 07537 173 683 or email [email protected]