Humiliated, degraded, and judged: Teesside's Hidden Women
Various women are sharing their stories about challenges they faced and how they overcame them
We can reveal many women in 'neglected communities' in Teesside are more likely to die early.
A report called Women in the North by Health Equity North found many here face more challenges in their lives and health compared to the rest of the country.
We're highlighting the stories of women in Teesside who have gone through various challenges but overcame them in the hopes of inspiring and empowering other women, who are going through something similiar, that there is hope for them out there, with the support of charities.
Nasima Akhter, a Teesside Uni academic, is one of the report authors and said: "We know that there's widespread levels of poverty, there's been an impact of austerity, increased cost of living, and disproportionate funding cuts, so there's so many things happening so it was our role to pull together the evidence to show how this affected the lives of women.
"We did look into different aspects and I have to say altogether, with all the different evidence, it just showed us the enormous amount of challenges and the inequalities that women in the North face in comparison to the rest of the country
"It does indicate that we do need to do better and we need to be really sincere about improving the lives of women in deprived areas."
Teesside's Hidden Women - Hits Radio Teesside news special
Sam's story
Sam isn't her real name - we've changed it for anonymity.
Sam is a former sex worker in Teesside who says she was forced into it to feed her and her boyfriend's drugs habit at the time.
She started out in the industry at the age of 22 after meeting a man who used class A drugs.
Now 57 years-old, she's bravely told us: "I would pick up punters in cars. On average you would charge £20 a punter, I probably had maybe 10, maybe 12 clients a night. The discomfort from doing that obviously then led me to using more drugs because I was trying to cover up the humiliation and degradation of the daily life I was living.
"I sex worked for 7-8 years. I worked every day of the week, I had an addiction and so did my partner. I never had a day off and the only day I ever had off was probably Christmas day.
"I was attacked on more than one occasion. I carry scars from a punter slashing my face because he wanted the money back and I was adamant he wasn't getting the money back because I needed the money to use.
"Emotionally I was more numb than anything else. There probably wasn't an hour in the day where I wasn't sedated or under the influence that I could access any kind of feelings.
"Working on the streets then came numerous arrests and when I started in the career I now have, I came in a DBS that was 12 pages long with 68 convictions for solicitation.
"On several of the times I was arrested, the police said 'he's your pimp' and I absolutely at that time of my life could not see it. I thought I was in love with him, I thought I was helping him, that he was there to support me, to protect me, and on reflection, I absolutely know that's what he was."
'Sam' has been sharing her story with our senior reporter Karen Liu:
Sam added: "By the time I hit 36, my drug use was horrific, I was 6 and a half stone, I was told I was going to die and my daughter was in care and I knew I had to change. With the support from a charity, I was encouraged to go to detox and rehab which I successfully did.
"Today my life is happy. I'm joyous and I'm free from active addiction and that, for someone with my background, is amazing. I hope that gives the people I work with the opportunity to see that they have a choice. I believe my wisdom and experience from my previous episode of my life helps other, particularly ladies, to come away from that lifestyle.
"I have three children today. I work for a charity who supports ladies and men to change their lives. The charity I work for allow me to self disclose that I'm in recovery."
For help and support in Teesside for women and girls, there is A Way Out in Stockton who work to prevent abuse, harm and exploitation by empowering women, families and young people to overcome the challenges they face and tackle the injustice and inequality that they experience.
There is also the North East Spicy Coffee Collective, a sex worker social group, which meets on a monthly basis in Middlesbrough and other North East locations.
Megan's story
Megan isn't her real name - we've changed it for anonymity.
More women are in prison here in the North than anywhere else in the country.
Recent stats from Health Equity North also show 40 percent enter jail with a drug or alcohol problem - compared to 22 percent of men.
Someone who has experienced that is 35 year-old 'Megan' from Teesside after mixing with the wrong crowd growing up.
She said: "When you're in prison and you're reflecting on stuff, you just realise what kind of things you can lose going to prison. It's hard but you just have to get on with it and see light at the end of the tunnel somewhere.
"I'm glad I got sent to prison because it did get me clean off drugs and I did that on my own. In a way, I do say jail helped me when you're sat there, you just reflect on life thinking you don't want this for the rest of your life, it's time to change.
"Obviously I was in prison so I knew I wouldn't have drugs, where if I was out of prison and I lost my home, I'd have probably off the rails a bit more and ending up drinking loads, taking drugs and obviously I couldn't because I was in prison. It was hard.
"I had my own house, my own safe place, a roof over my head and when I went to prison, my landlord thought I abandoned my house, so I was released from prison with no home to live at, no nothing."
'Megan' has been sharing her story with our senior reporter Karen Liu:
Megan added: "I was just walking about the streets, I had enough of life, taking loads of drugs and drink, took a few tablets thinking 'oh, I'll be better off not here' and then I woke up and thought 'I can't do this. I need some help.'
"My life now is amazing. I love it. I'm a completely different person and I never thought I'd see this kind of me. There is help out there if you really want it. Just push yourself and call on someone to some help. It's not for everybody but don't give up if you really want it, push yourself for it. There's light at the end of the tunnel for everyone."
Megan now has a job thanks to help of Middlesbrough-based Clean Slate Solutions which aims to support people with a conviction get into employment in Teesside and beyond.
Paul Malcolm is from there and said: "I think it just gives people hope that a conviction doesn't define them and there is a chance to move into employment that will last and they can make a career from it because it's not the end of their working life, it can be the beginning of something special.
"We do need employers on board to be able to achieve this goal. Please get in touch. The system does work. I'd love the opportunity to explain how we work in more detail, visit your offices, visit your site, explain what we can bring to the table. We can turn pain into purpose, people need help, they do need a purpose in life and employment is one of those purposes that will make a huge difference."
Callie's story
We're hearing women's homelessness on Teesside is an 'invisible problem' with many switching between sofa surfing and nights on the streets.
36 year-old Callie from Teesside says she was addicted to drink and drugs by the time she was 11, resulting in her being homeless, on and off, since 15.
She said: "I was very known in the area to the police. I had become a prolific offender and through that I couldn't maintain any tenancies because I was addicted and that lifestyle had taken over. My life wasn't my own anymore.
"I was literally sleeping in shop doorways, I was on park benches and where I was at the time, there were bandstands in the middle of the park and I was there, sometimes I'd be in local drug houses and because I was either drunk or off my face, I didn't even recognise the seasons at that point because even if it was winter, the only way that I could get through them nights of being homeless was to use drink or drugs.
"I feel like I was really, really judged. People just thought 'oh well, it's her own fault' but there was a root cause and the root cause was trauma. I didn't feel like I ever fit in, I didn't feel like I was understood, and I didn't reallty feel like there was much compassion.
"I was very much in denial about the life I was living. I'd be violent very, very quickly frequently. I never trust anybody, so I was very much stuck in that mindset and because I was so chaotic, I couldn't ever keep anything. I literally had the clothes that were on my back and because I just didn't care, I lost sense of anything, if I got something I'd either sell it or leave it anywhere that I was, so it never really mattered to me as long as I was using and drinking.
"I wanted to die. I didn't want to live on the streets anymore and I knew that I was up in court for some offences and I actually asked the judge 'please send me to prison. Any order that you put me on, I'm telling you now, I'm not going to stick to it because I want to get to prison just so I had housing, shelter and food."
Callie has been sharing her story with our senior reporter Karen Liu:
Callie started her own charity to help women who are homeless called 'Rainbow Promise' which is a supported housing provider who house vulnerable women who are either street homeless, coming out of grooming gangs and they rehabilitate women leaving addiction.
Callie added: "I got out on the streets of Middlesbrough and I started going to different homeless places and my heart was like 'wow. I remember being like these women' and my heart was to really, really help these women in whatever way I can and see these women set free in the same way that I've been set free.
"There is hope. If I can get from where I've come from, to where I've been, it looked impossible at the time but I would love to say nothing is impossible. There is support out there. There's so much more. I couldn't reach out, I never had the ability to ask for help and I needed to get over that fear and to get that courage and reach out."
You can visit their Facebook page.
Rebecca's story
Rebecca isn't her real name - we've changed it for anonymity.
Many women in the North begin using alcohol or drugs to cope with gender based trauma.
The Women in the North report also found females here use substances to escape from other adverse life experiences when compared to men.
21 year-old 'Rebecca' from Teesside started taking drugs at 19 and she said: "It destroyed everything really. I thought it was helping but when you're in it, you don't actually realise what's going on around you, what you're actually destroying. I always said I'd never touch drugs. Ever. And then just one day it caught me off guard.
"It was after a night out and I had an argument with some family members. I think I got caught at a vulnerable time and I got offered a line of cocaine and I took it and because I was struggling with my mental health anyways, it made me feel better and from that point, it just went every weekend.
"I took it near enough every day. Anytime I could get any money, it would go straight on that. My priorities were all wrong in a way."
'Rebecca' has been sharing her story with our senior reporter Karen Liu:
Rebecca and Joanna, whose story you can find out about below this, were both supported by With You, a free and non-judgemental drug and alcohol support service based in Redcar and Cleveland.
The charity is part of the THRIVE partnership working with domestic abuse support service Harbour in Hartlepool and Intuitive Thinking Skills.
Rebecca added: "They supported me in a way that I didn't think I'd get that support. For me, I was like 'oh, I'm just going to be put down as a druggy' but it wasn't, it was the complete opposite. They were lovely, so definitely get the help.
"My life's unreal now. I love it. I'm a big sister again, I'm an auntie, I'm a better version of me than I ever was really and I wouldn't change my experience going through it and now I'm an ambassador and I'm helping others."
Joanna's story
Joanna isn't her real name - we've changed it for anonymity.
'Joanna' started taking drink and drugs from the age of 16 after mixing with the wrong crowd.
Now 43 years-old, she said: "I took heroin, crack cocaine, sleeping tablets, amphetamines and I didn't even know what the hell these were. They seemed the norm with the people that I was with at the time. It was very naive really when I think about it.
"I started drinking a lot and taking cocaine on a weekend but then every time I had a drink, I'd have that as well so it would be like association with it and that's when I started doing all the stuff like taking sleeping tablets again.
"I think there was a lot of factors in my life at the time and I think I used that as a coping mechanism even though in the end it predominately made things worse. At the time you don't think that that's what it's doing and it's not going to get a hold of you, but it does.
"I was going to work and I didn't have sleep or anything. I was going to work and still trying to function a normal life but obviously it's impossible when you're doing things like that and then I lost my job and stuff got worse from there, because you got addicted to drugs, then there was the need for it and then you'd obviously do things you weren't proud of doing."
'Joanna' has been sharing her story with our senior reporter Karen Liu:
Joanna added: "I think With You have kept me on track because I don't want to let myself down as well as the people that are helping me. They check up on you, you can call if you need a bit of help and I knew they were there for me, so that really helped a lot.
"You do get frightened and you're frightened to access the help because it is a scary process and it's not easy, but please don't be frightened, please get tthe help and there is help out there. It's so empowering when you do get the help because you don't feel alone, there's always someone there."
Stacey Skilton, head of service delivery at With You in Redcar, said: "Unless somebody to share information with their family, we won't be doing that so I would recommend anybody to come forward and have that first conversation with us to find out a little bit about what we do and how we could support somebody."
Tara's story
Tara isn't her real name - we've changed it for anonymity.
We're hearing the highest rates of domestic abuse-related crimes in the country is right here in the North East.
The report by Health Equity North says domestic violence is a gendered crime that disproportionately affects women living up here.
32 year-old Tara from Middlesbrough is a domestic abuse survivor. She got into a relationship when she was 17 with a man who was 15 years older than her.
She fled from him when she was 26 and she's been telling us: "He was incredibly controlling. It was coercive control over a long period of time. I felt completely shut down. I just didn't think. It was almost like living in a goldfish bowl within my own mind. I didn't have my own thoughts. If he didn't tell me what to think, I didn't think it.
"I fled in the middle of the night when he was asleep because I was just so frightened when I realised what situation I was in. It took a very long time and I still have days where I think 'did I just make this up? Is he actually like that or is it just me?' And even when I left him, I was still in my head thinking 'it's me that's lost my mind, I'm paranoid.'
"When I got into a relationship with him, I was very vulnerable and he just disempowered me. It was psychologically draining and he would just make it as difficult as possible for me to do anything that would give me my independence.
"If I do something he'd be like 'oh, but you could've done that better.' It got the point where I never switched off at night. It didn't matter what I did, it wasn't good enough. It was really difficult to get back on my feet and I'm still not there but I just didn't have anything, I didn't have any money, I didn't have a job.
"I felt like it was me, I could have done better, I could have done more and nothing was ever his fault, whether it was about me or everything outside of us. He never took responsbility for anyhting, it was always up to me to solve those problems.
"Every day was exactly the same. It was like groundhog day. It felt like a prison. If you look in, he'd do everything, he'd speak to everybody, he'd be looking after me and that's where the abuse was."
'Tara' has been sharing her story with our senior reporter Karen Liu:
Tara was supported by My Sister's Place, a domestic abuse support charity in Middlesbrough.
She has this message: "Find something for yourself. A lot of the cliches that you get fed, you think they're cliches and you think they don't work, but they do. You do just have to take care of yourself. Find something other than that man to focus on because that's the man that ruined your life, why would you put anymore energy into it? And just remember what you want and what's important to you."
Lesley Storey, chief executive of My Sister's Place, said: "There's lots of different pathways into our service. Some people just walk through the door, some people ring the police first and then the police make a direct referral to us, or some people might talk to a social worker or somebody else like a health professional and they would then make that referral to us.
"Everybody does things in their own time. I'd like you to think about could you talk to somebody; is there somebody that you trust that you can could start to talk to about what might be happening to you? Please do think about ringing us or talking to your GP because you might already have a relationship with your GP practice.
"In an emergency, always call 999 but please do think about speaking out about it. The more we speak about it, the easier it gets but we understand that taking that first step is very, very difficult."
Teesside's Hidden Women
Teesside Uni academic and report author Nasima, added: "The feelings are similiar when we're talking about what the role of the Women of the North in our case, we may be coming up with a lot of numbers to show the difference of how big or small, but what your news special has done is looking at a different dimension of how it's affected individuals.
"I guess this is raising the question whether as individuals how much we can do and how difficult is it to change those contexts, and how this enormous challenge women are facing and how difficult it is to tackle them. You've come up with this initiative to come up with all of this evidence just to alert that we need to do more, we need to up our game and we need to improve the living conditions.
"We don't just need short-term commitment but a longer term address. We need greater investment for child poverty reduction, for mental health services, for access to all services for the deprived groups, for sex workers, and altogether an action plan that builds a better and fairer tomorrow for women and girls in the North."