"It's not weak to speak": Sussex listening group encouraging men to share how they're feeling
Mankind says one in four men will struggle with their mental health during their lifetime.
A Sussex listening group is sharing advice on how men can encourage their friends to open up about their mental health.
Mankind says one in four men will struggle with their mental health during their lifetime.
The group, which run weekly, free support sessions in Eastbourne, Heathfield and Hailsham, have been continuing to promote the messaging after International Men's Day was marked earlier this week.
It was started by friends Ian Pickard and Paul Roskilly in 2020, after a close friend of theirs took his own life.
"I sat in the church with 600 other people, and one of his friends turned round to me and said "there's 600 people in this church and he couldn't talk to one of us'", Ian recalled of his friends' funeral.
"I sat down and wondered, one, why had he taken his own life? And two, how could we stop that happening again?"
17 men attended the group's first session - with more continuing virtually during the pandemic - and it's only grown since.
"We don't know who's going to walk through that door. We don't know how many men we're going to get.
"We have guys who are just lonely and because we formed a community, a brotherhood within the group, we've now got a cold water swimming club, we've got a walking club, we've got walking football.
"We've got guys who go away camping at weekends together. We have guys from the age of 18 to 80 come along to the session."
Getting a friend to talk
Ian's key advice is to ask a friend who says they're "okay" is to ask them to rate their mood out of 10 - with 10 being great, and one being bad.
"They've got to stop, they've got to think, and then they've got to come back with a score. When they come back with that score, you're hoping that it's going to be over 5.
"If it's under 5, then you can start the conversation because you've slowed their thinking process down - and now you can say, do you want to talk about it? I'm here to listen.
"We're not there to fix them - what we're there to do is support them, and encourage them to recover and be the best person they can."
He encouraged anyone who needed a space to talk to reach out to them - and if you're nervous, to drop them an email beforehand.
"If it's not for you, it's not cost you anything apart from 2 hours on a Wednesday, Thursday or Friday."
The Mankind team meet face to face every Wednesday from 6.00-8.30pm at St Wilfrid’s Hospice, 1 Broadwater Way, Eastbourne, BN22 9PZ.
Mankind also hold weekly meetings in Heathfield every Thursday night, from 6:30pm to 8:30pm at The Community Hub at the Union Church, High Street, Heathfield, TN21 8LB and starting on Friday 28th February 2025, in Hailsham at the Family Hub, Community Centre, Vega close, Hailsham, BN27 2JZ.
You can visit their website here.