From life-changing injury to Invictus Games: Ipswich veteran chosen for special Poppy Appeal honour
He's one of four people who will be recognised today.
An RAF veteran from Ipswich who's faced years of debilitating pain is to receive a specially commissioned poppy made from the metal of Second World War Spitfires, in recognition of the challenges faced by him and his family.
Neil Fellingham, 38, will be presented with the commemorative poppy at the Royal British Legion's Battle Back Centre in Shropshire today (Thursday 22 October 2026), accompanied by his wife Lauren, their five-year-old daughter Poppy, and his parents Graham and Hazel.
The presentation forms part of the charity's national Poppy Appeal launch, which this year aims to recognise the often unseen sacrifices made by Armed Forces families.
For Neil, who served in the RAF for more than 12 years, the recognition carries particular significance.
Since suffering life-changing injuries in a road traffic accident in August 2018, he has endured years of persistent pain, undergone multiple operations and faced the possibility of having his left leg amputated.
But in an interview with us, he explained that the challenges have extended far beyond his own health.
"My wife is my carer," he said.
"She takes on a huge amount each day from the physical as well as the mental load."
His parents also play an important role, helping with everyday responsibilities when his health prevents him from doing things independently.
"They are the ones who, if we are struggling to get food in, they go to the shops for us.
"If we need something at a very short notice, they're the ones that are always there straight away to support us."
From walking down the aisle to hoping to walk with his daughter
After the accident, Neil developed extensive nerve damage after his accident and now lives with complex regional pain syndrome (CRPS), which causes severe and persistent pain.
He explained that his condition has significantly restricted his mobility, leaving him reliant on a wheelchair for much of his daily life.
"So for myself, the pain is all the time," he explained.
"I can, stand up one moment, be okay, and I can turn ever so slightly funny. And unfortunately, then whatever I do, it means it takes me off my feet."
Before his injuries, Neil enjoyed running, cycling and walking in the countryside with Lauren.
Determined not to let his injuries prevent him from enjoying their wedding, he underwent intensive rehabilitation before the couple married in 2019.
"I pushed myself through all of my physio training, my rehab training with the military to be able to walk down the aisle," he recalled.
"That was all I wanted to do."
But as his condition deteriorated, activities he had previously enjoyed became increasingly difficult.
Now, Neil hopes an amputation could offer him an opportunity to regain some mobility, although he recognises that surgery and the use of a prosthetic limb would carry significant challenges.
He said he began pursuing the possibility of having his leg amputated around five years ago, but the complexity of his condition has prevented the procedure from going ahead.
"We've got to try and be as careful as possible because the consequence of these actions of removing a body part is extensive," he said.
Neil is particularly concerned about the possibility of further complications, including phantom limb pain, which could affect his ability to use a prosthesis.
Despite the uncertainty, he remains hopeful.
"At the moment, we are certainly in a position where we're aiming for prosthetic so that I can at least walk," he said.
"That's the thing that I want to do the most with my daughter."
You may leave here with neither of them’
Alongside Neil's deteriorating health, the family faced another traumatic experience when Lauren became seriously ill during her pregnancy in 2021.
Neil said she developed severe pre-eclampsia and was transferred by ambulance from Ipswich Hospital to the Norfolk and Norwich University Hospital after doctors struggled to control her blood pressure.
He said they weren't even able to prepare a hospital bag, with their baby arriving much earlier than expected, and he had to go home to gather belongings before making his way to the hospital, where medical staff were monitoring both Lauren and their unborn daughter.
He described how the situation became increasingly serious, with concerns about the baby's heartbeat and Lauren's condition.
When Lauren was taken into theatre, Neil said a midwife warned him to prepare for the possibility that neither his wife nor daughter would survive.
"You need to be prepared for this very real situation, which is you may leave here with one of them," he recalled being told.
"You may leave here with the other one, but also you may leave here with neither of them."
He described the following minutes as among the most difficult of his life.
"At that moment in time, every moment is ticking you by like it's in slow motion," he said.
"There is no perception of time."
Their daughter was born shortly after midnight on 27 June 2021, weighing just 585 grams, according to Neil.
He vividly remembers the moment he first saw her.
Medical staff had wrapped the newborn in a towel, and he recalled seeing only a tiny face before she was transferred for specialist care.
Neil said Poppy (his daughter) subsequently spent around three-and-a-half months receiving neonatal care, undergoing multiple medical procedures and treatment as she fought to survive.
Now five, Poppy has started school and is making friends, milestones Neil says he and Lauren do not take for granted.
"It takes your breath away occasionally, because even I get a chance to have a look at her and I'm just absolutely amazed at how far she's come," he said.
"And that for me is everything."
‘We've gone through hell’
With Neil unable to carry out his previous duties, a premature baby in hospital and Lauren recovering from a life-threatening medical emergency, the family found themselves needing additional support.
Neil praised his RAF colleagues for helping him through the uncertainty surrounding his military career and changing personal circumstances.
But he said the Royal British Legion also became an important source of assistance, helping the family understand what support was available and how to prepare financially for an uncertain future.
"They were able to help in a financial application," he explained.
The charity also helped them access guidance and emotional support, including putting them in touch with people who could assist with the difficulties they were experiencing.
Neil was assigned a recovery support officer and has remained closely involved with the organisation.
He said the support extended beyond practical assistance and was particularly important for family members struggling to cope with everything that had happened.
"That support and assistance wasn't just for me," he said.
"That was also for Lauren, for my mom and dad, for my sister to be able to talk about the things that had happened."
For Neil, acknowledging the people supporting wounded and injured veterans is an essential part of this year's Poppy Appeal.
He said his parents had witnessed the family endure some of its most difficult moments.
"They've watched me go through hell. They've watched us go through hell."
While the family continues to navigate an uncertain future, Neil believes those experiences demonstrate why support for military families is so important.
"Sometimes when you know that all you've got is, is, okay, well today we're just gonna make it through," he said.
"Today it's just a case of, okay, let's just try and find something, something small to smile at."
Rediscovering life beyond his injuries
Despite the ongoing difficulties, Neil has also found opportunities to rebuild his confidence and discover new interests.
Through the Royal British Legion's Battle Back Centre in Lilleshall, Shropshire, he has taken part in recovery activities designed for wounded, injured and sick serving personnel and veterans.
The centre, established in 2011, offers programmes involving sport, creative activities and wellbeing.
Neil said the experience has allowed him to rediscover aspects of the active lifestyle he enjoyed before his injuries.
He has tried activities including archery, wheelchair basketball and adaptive skiing.
In 2025, he represented Team UK at the Invictus Games in Vancouver and Whistler, Canada, where he took part in sit-skiing despite having only limited experience on snow.
He recalled receiving encouragement from adaptive sports coaches who worked to find ways for him to participate.
For someone who had spent years having to consider his physical limitations, the experience was significant.
"Everything is like, it's almost overwhelming in the opposite realm because we spend so long struggling to find things that then when we are there, it's wonderful because we're just able to do things," he said.
He also recalled meeting the Duke of Sussex after completing a run at Whistler, describing the photograph taken afterwards as one of his favourites.
But beyond the sporting achievements, Neil believes the centre offers something equally important: the opportunity to reconnect with other people.
He admitted that adjusting to life with a disability had sometimes left him frightened of meeting friends who remembered him before his accident.
"I was so, you know, and I still am in some extent to this day, scared of seeing friends, scared of seeing old friends because things are different," he said.
"I don't move like I used to."
He hopes sharing his experiences will encourage others facing difficult circumstances to seek support rather than struggle alone.
"When we are struggling the absolute most and all that we want to do is to hide ourselves away, that actually those friends are there," he said.
For Neil, the Battle Back Centre has helped him rediscover a sense of belonging.
"No longer are we just behind our front doors," he said.
"We're back to who we used to be."
A poppy recognising more than military service
Neil and his family will be recognised as part of the Royal British Legion's nationwide Poppy Appeal launch on Thursday 22 October.
Representatives from the Royal Navy, Army and RAF are taking part in a journey through Manchester, North Wales and Shropshire before the launch concludes in London.
Specially commissioned poppies, fashioned from the metal of Second World War Spitfires, will be presented to Armed Forces families whose experiences reflect the different forms of sacrifice and support found within the military community.
At the Battle Back Centre, Neil will be joined by Lauren, Poppy, Graham and Hazel for the special presentation.
The Royal British Legion says this year's campaign aims to draw attention to the challenges faced by the wider Armed Forces community, recognising that the effects of military service can extend far beyond the person wearing the uniform.
For Neil, the presentation is also an opportunity to express his gratitude to those who have supported his family through some of its most difficult years.
"When it comes to things like wearing a poppy, you are showing your support and a wider message of thanks to the armed forces community, both past and present," he said.
"But not only them, you're also saying thank you as well and acknowledging their families."
He hopes people will recognise the impact their donations can have on the lives of veterans and their loved ones.
"Thank you overall from myself and my family because without the support and the outside generosity of others, we would not be here today where we are surviving as best as we can."