Dads' support community expands to Ipswich to tackle isolation and help fathers connect
Good Dads Club founder Matt Krishnan-Bird says fathers need spaces where they can be open about both the struggles and joys of parenting
A community created to give fathers somewhere to make friends, seek advice and talk openly about parenthood is expanding into Ipswich.
Good Dads Club was founded by Colchester dad Matt Krishnan-Bird after the birth of his daughter Dorothy, who is now 20 months old.
Having seen his wife form lasting friendships through groups for new mothers, Matt said he struggled to find an equivalent community for himself.
What began as his own attempt to make friends has since expanded across Colchester and Chelmsford, and the organisation has now launched an Ipswich group.
Its first Ipswich event, called Beers and Braids, is planned for November and will see dads meet in a pub while learning how to style their daughters' hair.
Matt said the expansion reflects a wider change in how many fathers see their role within their families.
"I believe our generation are becoming much more hands on.
"Men have had to and they want to take a much more hands-on approach to raising their children and they should do because it shouldn't all be down to the mum."
He said other fathers had told him they wanted to become better dads but did not necessarily know how, adding that being able to learn from men experiencing the same challenges could help them.
'I really yearned to find some friendship'
Matt said the idea for Good Dads Club came from his own experience of becoming a parent.
He had moved to Colchester from London several years earlier and said that while his wife found friends through groups for mothers, he did not form the same connections through his antenatal classes.
"I really yearned to find some friendship in my area."
He initially established the group because he wanted to make friends himself, but said it quickly developed into something bigger.
"Now I'm at a point where I believe that every dad should have access to a Good Dads Club or a community very similar in their area.
"I feel like it's my mission now to bring that to everybody."
Creating a space for dads to open up
Matt believes fathers can sometimes feel less comfortable in traditional parent-and-baby settings.
He stressed that he did not blame the people running those groups, but said some environments had felt predominantly designed as spaces for mothers.
He believes having dedicated communities for fathers can make it easier for men to discuss the more difficult parts of parenthood.
"I think it's important we have that safe space just for dads where they can feel they can really be open and honest about their struggles as well as their joys."
Matt said some members do not attend events or actively contribute to conversations, but still value knowing the community exists.
"I think men find it really, really difficult to open up, not everybody, and I think people are getting better at it.
"But there's a lot of people who join the group and don't say anything, don't come to the meetups, but they just like to know, they just take solace in knowing it is there."
Parenting advice from other dads
The community is also used by fathers to exchange practical advice about raising their children, from weaning and sleep schedules to dealing with difficult periods in their relationships with them.
Matt described turning to the group when his daughter appeared to become less attached to him during a family holiday.
Rather than searching online, he asked other fathers for advice and heard from members who had experienced something similar.
They encouraged him to remain patient and consistent with his parenting, and he said the phase subsequently passed.
"I just needed at that time just to have those bits of advice.
"It was so important and they meant a lot more than, you know, going through AI."
Matt said he also receives messages from members telling him the community has helped them, although he credits its success to the fathers involved rather than himself.
"They're all there for the right reasons.
"They want to be a better person, they want to meet friends, and they want to be a better dad, they want to be a good dad."
'Beers and Braids' coming to Ipswich
The newly created Ipswich community is due to hold its first event at Three Wise Monkeys on 26th November.
Around 30 fathers are expected to attend Beers and Braids, where they will be taught how to style their daughters' hair while socialising with other dads.
Matt, who describes himself as a "girl dad", said the idea also challenges assumptions about which parent traditionally takes responsibility for particular jobs.
"Predominantly a job that a mum would do, but why does it have to be the mum?
"This is the great chance to bond with your daughter and take away another job from the mum that she'd normally have to do on top of everything else."
He described it as a chance to learn a practical skill while also meeting other fathers and making friends.
Ipswich dad to lead local community
Good Dads Club is also planning monthly walks, dinner clubs, soft-play sessions and other events in and around Ipswich.
Matt said an Ipswich father he met through the original Colchester community will predominantly run the new group, while he continues to oversee it.
He believes having someone from the area leading each branch is important so the community remains locally rooted.
"I believe that each group should be run by someone who's a champion of that area, that stays authentic and they're local in case somebody needs them."
He said the aim was to provide opportunities for fathers to meet both with and without their children.
"Just good ways of getting dads out there with and without the kids and talking and supporting each other and just creating a really kind community."