Retired Salisbury teacher publishes poems inspired by wife's dementia journey
John Cox's book, Memories for Rosemary, is also raising money for the Stars Appeal
A retired English teacher from Salisbury has published a collection of poems inspired by his wife's dementia journey.
John Cox's book, called Memories for Rosemary, is a celebration and renewal of memories from their relationship.
Rosemary, a former nurse at Salisbury District Hospital in the Spinal Unit, has been living with dementia for several years, and despite the challenge of the condition, remains able to recognise people and communicate through smiling and other facial expressions.
The collection is being sold in support of the Stars Appeal.
John told us where the inspiration came from.
"I often found I needed things to stimulate her, pictures, memories, through old photographs, talking about family," he said. "And then out of all that came the writing of a sequence of poems about our life together. It was sparked by a novel by Ian McEwan in which a poet writes sequence for his wife on her birthday and it had to follow an exact pattern of 15 sonnets."
Despite not having written poetry for a long time, he wrote and then read it to Rosemary.
"Unexpectedly, when I said I was going to read her something I'd written, her reaction was wonderful, very wide-eyed, a couple of sonnets in, I said, shall I go on? And she nodded vigorously and as it went on she clutched my hand and we got to the end and I said something to the effect of, was that all right? And she nodded, we get the occasional yes and no and a big yes came out," John said.
Keeping love alive
He said it's hard to quantify how much of an impact the poems have had on Rosemary, but John said it's been a positive for keeping their relationship and love alive, despite the challenges of her condition and living in a care home.
John added it's helped him as it's given him "a buzz", while it's also allowed friends and family to learn more about them and their relationship.
He's hopeful that it will encourage more people to read poetry, while those who are regular readers of sonnets and poems may take pleasure in spotting the patterns, forms and rhymes.
John said: "There are lots of different traditional patterns of poetry. There are also some what we call free verse so it's varied and I hope that people will, even people who don't know her or don't know me, find it absorbing."
Dave Cates from the Stars Appeal said: "It is incredibly generous that the proceeds from Memories for Rosemary are coming to the Stars Appeal to support our work with patients and families at Salisbury Hospital. We are very grateful to John for choosing to support our charity in this way and wish him every success with the book."
Copies of Memories for Rosemary cost £10 and are available from Salisbury Information Centre, Fish Row, Salisbury. The book can also be ordered online for £12, including postage and packaging, via www.memoriesforrosemary.org.