Charities shine light on honour-based abuse on national day of remembrance
FearFree and Changing Suits want to boost awareness to help people experiencing harm
Last updated 10 hours ago
Two Wiltshire-based charities are shining a light on honour-based violence, on a day of national reflection for those who've experienced it.
Honour-based violence can happen to anyone, according to FearFree and Changing Suits. It can happen because a person has been deemed to be bringing shame to their family, religion or culture, meaning they end up suffering abuse.
"It can look quite similar to domestic abuse," FearFree CEO, Debbie Beadle said. "It could be that actually it's related to relationships, or when you're in a relationship that you're seen to bring shame on the family or culture or religion. So again, same as domestic abuse, that can be a sort of physical, it can be coercive control, it can be financial control.
"But also, you may see like physical violence because, you know, they may not be adhering to a certain religion. So in terms of the way they dress or they're seen as too westernized."
It can also include forced marriage or child marriage, both of which are illegal in the UK.
Taj Sandhu, from Swindon's Changing Suits, said it's about breaking a "façade" of "everything is perfect behind closed doors".
She added that the common misconception is that it's limited to one culture or community, but stressed that it can happen to anyone.
Taj told us that it can leave people isolated, "almost like you're living in a prison" and can leave people living two different lives.
"They have this fear and they feel anxiety that to be themselves is one life behind closed doors at home and another one outside and having those two worlds that you live in, in itself, can be such a stressful way of living."
One of the big challenges of honour-based violence is that it can involve multiple perpetrators, which can make safeguarding someone tricky.
Debbie added that our understanding of other cultures needs improving.
"Generally as a society, we have a lack of understanding about other cultures and religions, but also sometimes afraid to step in or say, recognise abuse, potentially excusing it as a cultural issue and actually abuse is abuse. It doesn't matter what culture you're part of or religion, you know, creating harm to someone is not okay," she said.
Taj is urging us to become more familiar with honour-based violence and its history, to see how it has led to people being harmed, but to also be aware that support services, like Changing Suits and FearFree, are on hand to support people who are experiencing abuse.
While Changing Suits is a specialized service for the South Asian community, meaning they can understand the different aspects of that culture, making it easier for people to explain what they're going through.
Debbie added: "Don't be afraid to ask questions. Honour based abuse is a challenge because people are often fearful to question, but actually when we're looking at abuse, we have a responsibility to make sure that we're safeguarding the people that come across our doors."