Oxford therapist urges parents to watch for signs after rise in ‘war anxiety’ in children
Expert shares advice on how to spot and help children with anxiety
An Oxford therapist is urging parents to look out for changes in behaviour in their children, following reports of a rise in 'war anxiety' linked to ongoing global conflict.
Children are increasingly being exposed to distressing images and updates through social media, news alerts and conversations with peers — something experts say can have a significant emotional impact.
Tom Murfitt, a cognitive behavioural therapist at Oxford CBT, said the effect of this constant exposure should not be underestimated.
“When you see these images, it’s really upsetting,” he said. “We’ve got smartphones, so there’s no turning it off.”
Tom said children do not always openly express their emotions, meaning parents may need to pay attention to small changes.
“Children are very good at hiding how they’re actually feeling,” he said. “If your child does mention it just in passing, there’s quite a strong possibility that they have been absorbing some information and it is bothering them.”
He explained that a noticeable change in behaviour is often one of the clearest indicators.
This could include disrupted sleep, struggling to engage at school, becoming more withdrawn or asking more questions — although Tom stressed the cause is not always clear.
Instead, he said the focus should be on creating the right conditions for a conversation.
“It’s about choosing your time,” he said. “Often after school, children are pretty tired so that’s probably not a good time.”
Tom suggested talking while doing something together, rather than having a direct or pressured conversation.
“That could be going for a walk, playing a game or watching television - where the child is starting to relax.”
He added that parents should process what their child is saying and comfort them rather than trying to find a solution.
“As a parent, you want to fix it straight away, but it’s about listening and validating at that point,” he said.
Tom also encouraged parents to reflect on their own response to distressing news and consider whether they are in a position to help.
"If you're quite anxious and you feel you're not going to be able to have that conversation with your child because you may end up feeding some of that anxiety to them as well, see if you can find somebody else who might be able to."
He highlighted that exposure to conflict can also lead to cycles of anxiety, where people seek reassurance — for example by repeatedly checking updates — which can reinforce their fears.
Tom suggested even short breaks could help children process what they are seeing.
He also recommended trying to end difficult conversations with children on a more reassuring note.
“There are a lot of really good charities trying to provide aid,” he said. “You want to end it on something positive.”