County Durham mum says it's important to have conversations about birth trauma
Up to 30 thousand women experience birth trauma each year
A mum from County Durham who experienced a traumatic birth says it is important to have conversations about the issue.
Up to 30 thousand women experience birth trauma each year and around 1 in 20 will experience PTSD.
Emma Stokoe, mum of two, said: "It was traumatising in the sense of obviously the pain and kind of just being a little bit dismissed. The fact that I was on my own before that with the COVID restrictions, obviously I was on my own again as soon as the baby was born, because my husband had to leave after a couple of hours. So, I was on my own for the next couple of days as well.
"Just because it isn't as traumatic as what someone else might have gone through, trauma is still trauma, and it's down to the person. Trauma is subjective, and if you think you've been traumatised then you've been traumatised. That's the way it is. It's never anyone's place to say that you haven't been traumatised enough to speak out.
"It took me a couple of years really to accept that it had been quite dramatic when she was born. You are kind of thrown into the midst of motherhood and you've got a baby and you just kind of have to get on with it because everyone just says you're fine. The baby's fine. That's what matters. But it's not what matters. What matters is how you felt at the time and it's important to acknowledge that and accept that.
"What you expect when you have your baby is that you're going to have your baby. It's going to be lovely. You're going to be giving your newborn baby on your chest, and it's all going to be amazing. You're going to have a rush of love and it's going to be the best thing you've ever felt. I didn't get that because I was in so much pain. I didn't feel that rush of love. I couldn't even hold my baby for the first hour of her being born. The expectation of what was coming and then what actually happened was very different. That did upset me for.
"A lot of people don't think that they've been traumatised enough. A lot of people don't think that they should reach out for help because they've had the baby and the baby is healthy, so why does it matter now. But it does matter because it matters to your mental health. It matters if you want another child in the future. It's not just your baby, you matter too and you need to get help if you need it."