'It's a really vulnerable time' - mums share real stories of birth trauma

Earlier this week, we revealed how 30 thousand women a year experience trauma before, during or after labour.

Now, one mother, who wishes to remain anonymous, is opening up about her struggles, and the support she received from the Reproductive Trauma Service at Lancashire and South Cumbria Health Care Partnership.

She said: "I had a complex health condition that led to my fallopian tubes being removed, which meant I couldn't conceive naturally.

"My trauma is based on a very different sort of situation, but then massively connected to my pregnancy. I had an awful lot of IVF then a miscarriage which was difficult and traumatic.

"IVF is a slog, some people it works first time, but I had a lot of time, and a good three years of journey. The trauma I had during that time was not dealt with during the time. I had counselling but it just didn't cut it.

"It was all very heavy.

"We were overjoyed when we got pregnant, we thought it would be the best thing ever. The start was difficult though, I had complications early on. I had an underlying anxiety problem with a lot of things in the past. The anxiety just went nuts, absolutely crazy, and I was struggling to manage it.

"I'd lost a baby before that stage previously. It was all new, hormones, life and work and all those things that combine with health anxiety.

"It's a really vulnerable time. I was a strong person, you know, carry on and keep going, but I felt so vulnerable.

"I'm meant to be happy, the IVF has worked, I was pregnant, so I should be over the moon and really happy. I should be able to just get on with my pregnancy and enjoy it, but it wasn't the case. That was the confusing thing as well.

"I felt like I was bothering everybody with my anxiety, but it was so high, and I was so terrified of losing this pregnancy so I kept accessing physical health services to help with my anxiety.

"Actually, what I needed, was somebody to understand where I was coming from, and why I was so frightened."

Eventually she was referred to support with Lancashire and South Cumbria's reproductive trauma team, which provided her with tailored support throughout her pregnancy.

She continued: "Just for someone to listen to start with. To say I am here for you throughout this and I can see her each time, message them.

"For my partner it was so important too because he was beside himself by this stage. He just wanted me to be happy and did not want to see me struggling. It affects them a lot too.

"It was a weight lifted. Just someone got it and said from 20 weeks they were going to work on a birth plan that means I wouldn't be terrified of what's going to happen. It gave me a bit of control and they really helped me get that control back over my feelings and the situation that was going to happen.

"Some very practical things that they were able to organise, and here's me stressing and panicking that I might be seen by a doctor that I felt uncomfortable seeing, and they sorted it so that won't happen. These are the people I'm going to see and facilitating for me to meet them before I met them in theatre was massive for me."

Listen to more stories on Birth Trauma here:

Support Links:

If you've been impacted by birth trauma, and want to see what help is out there, the Birth Trauma Association has email support and a helpline you can call. They can also provide access to a private Facebook group.

Bliss offers support for people affected by sick or premature babies.

And there's more information about birth trauma, and further links to support via Make Birth Better.

If you want to find mental health services where you are, visit the Hub of Hope.