Psychologist shares advice for parents of children who may be neurodivergent
As GCSE and A-Level season approaches, a psychologist is urging parents and carers to think differently about revision and exam pressure - particularly if their child has, or may have, ADHD or autism.
In the UK, around one in seven people are estimated to be neurodivergent. That means there may be around 1.76 million children and young people in education with autism and/or ADHD.
Many children do not have a formal diagnosis, while those who do seek one can face long delays. NHS waiting lists for children’s assessments in England have reportedly topped 450,000.
For many families, that means children may go through major milestones, including exams, without formal recognition of the challenges they are facing or the support they may need.
Revision season can bring anxiety to any household, but for families who suspect their child may be neurodivergent, the pressure can feel even more intense.
Young people may struggle to start homework or revision, appear disorganised, become overwhelmed, or feel deflated when their hard work does not seem to be reflected in their results.
Dr Laura Powling, CEO of Evolve Psychology and a Consultant Clinical Psychologist, says small changes at home can make a significant difference.
She said: “If a child doesn’t have a diagnosis, there is a risk that educational professionals assume difficulties must be behavioural or motivational, which can be tricky to overcome.
“Many neurodivergent children struggle because traditional teaching methods — long periods of focus, written revision and silent study — don’t match how they process information.
“Children whose brains work differently may need alternative ways to access their strengths.”
Rethink what revision looks like
Many schools promote revision techniques based on reading, writing and quiet concentration. But for some neurodivergent learners, those approaches simply do not work.
Parents and carers can try alternative strategies, including short bursts of study, movement while learning, audio notes, visual tools and explaining topics aloud to someone else.
Dr Powling suggests that 20 to 30-minute revision sessions, followed by proper breaks, may be more effective than forcing a child to sit for long periods.
Walking, stretching or using a fidget toy while talking through a topic may also help some young people focus.
Other techniques include recording notes, using mind maps, colour coding information, drawing diagrams, or asking a child to “teach” a subject to a parent or sibling.
The key, according to experts, is flexibility. Revision does not have to mean sitting silently at a desk for hours.
Parents are also being encouraged not to mistake overwhelm for laziness.
Reduce sensory overwhelm
For children who experience sensory sensitivity, the revision environment itself can make studying harder.
Simple adjustments at home may help, such as creating a quiet, uncluttered workspace, setting predictable revision times, using soft lighting instead of bright overhead lights, and allowing headphones or background noise if that helps the child concentrate.
Having snacks and water nearby can also reduce unnecessary interruptions and help children feel more settled.
Speak to the school early
Even without a formal diagnosis, schools may be able to offer informal support.
Parents who believe their child may need adjustments are advised to contact the school’s SENCo — the Special Educational Needs Coordinator — as early as possible.
Depending on the child’s needs and the school’s processes, support could include smaller exam rooms, supervised rest breaks, seating arrangements that reduce distraction, or additional pastoral support.
Starting those conversations early gives schools more time to consider what may be possible.
Make exam day predictable
On the day of an exam, predictability can help reduce anxiety.
Parents can talk through the schedule the night before and again in the morning, including timings, transport, food plans and what will happen after the exam.
Dr Powling advises avoiding anything new on exam day where possible. Keeping to the same breakfast, clothes and timings as a normal school day can help the morning feel calmer.
Allowing extra time can also reduce the feeling of being rushed.
It may also help to agree a plan in advance for what the child can do if they begin to feel overwhelmed during the exam. That could include pausing to take three slow breaths, or skipping a question and returning to it later.
After the exam, parents are encouraged to avoid immediate post-exam analysis if their child seems drained.
Instead, planning something positive afterwards — such as a favourite meal, a game, a walk, or watching a favourite TV show — can give them something to look forward to.
Protect your child’s wellbeing
One of the most important roles parents can play during exam season is protecting their child’s mental health.
Neurodivergent children may spend significant energy masking, coping with sensory input, or trying to learn in ways that do not feel natural to them. When exam pressure is added, burnout can follow quickly.
Warning signs may include exhaustion after school, emotional outbursts, negative self-talk, or repeated feelings of failure.
Parents can help by prioritising sleep, hydration and nutritious food, as well as building in calming activities where possible.
That might include listening to music, going for a short walk, practising breathing exercises, spending time with a pet, or simply having quiet time away from screens and pressure.
Shift the focus away from grades
Experts say parents can also help by reframing conversations around effort, strategy and wellbeing, rather than focusing only on results.
Simple questions can make a difference, such as:
- “What part of this feels hardest right now?”
- “How can we make this task easier to start?”
- “What helped you focus last time?”
- “Doing your best is all that matters.”
Children who feel understood are more likely to stay engaged than those who feel judged purely by grades.
For teenagers, exams can feel like the most important moment of their lives. For parents, it can be easy to get caught up in that pressure too.
Dr Powling added: “Exams aren’t the only measure of success. The reality is that many neurodivergent adults thrive once they understand how their brains work.
“Creativity, problem-solving and unconventional thinking can become powerful strengths.
“If, as a parent or carer, you can help your child understand how they learn best, that is something that will serve them far beyond any test paper.”