'I lost my identity' - Cambridgeshire woman on living with domestic abuse
She hopes more support that's clearly signposted will help tackle the issue
A Cambridgeshire woman who almost lost her life through domestic abuse has said being able to access support will encourage people to come forward.
Sharon Livermore MBE nearly died in 2015 as she suffered abuse for 18 months at the hands of her ex-husband.
"I guess I lost my identity, who I was" she said.
Sharon's speaking to us as NO MORE Week to raise awareness of domestic abuse and the help and support that's available for victims.
Sharon's story
She first met her abuser while working as a recruitment consultant, convinced by his thoughtfulness and charisma and later had children together.
But after they married, Sharon was subjected to controlling and coercive behaviour as well as physical and emotional abuse, being forced to isolate away from family and friends.
Her abuser was later arrested, but in the days after his release from custody, he plotted Sharon's abduction and murder.
When she returned to her car one evening after work, Sharon noticed her car windows were steaming up and smelt her abuser's aftershave as she found a picnic blanket underneath her car seat that's usually left in the boot.
When she opened the boot, her abuser was there with a knife and cable ties before going after her.
Sharon was able to escape and her abuser was later jailed for attempted kidnapping and taking a vehicle without the owner's consent, but since released.
"If you can understand my husband was doing this to me and they are the people who are supposed to look out and protect you in life, that was the biggest thing for me because it was a case of who can I trust," she said.
"There are moments I have flashbacks, but I choose to see the positive I am still here and unfortunately this is happening to others so if I can use my experience to help others, that's my healing process."
New 'target hardening' service to help survivors
In the UK, 15% of women experienced a form of domestic abuse last year, which is equivalent to 4.1 million.
And around 2.3 million people aged 16 years or older experienced domestic abuse in the year ending March 2024, according to the Office for National Statistics.
Cambridgeshire County Council have also approved the renewal of a target hardening service - to help survivors of domestic abuse feel safer and more secure in their homes - from January next year.
The council currently offers a joint service with Peterborough City Council, but the new three year and three months contract would be for Cambridgeshire only.
Target hardening enables domestic abuse survivors to remain in their own homes by providing extra security measures - such as window alarms, lock changes and dummy cameras - which can delay or prevent a perpetrator from entering a property.
Between April 2023 and March 2024, 525 survivors across Cambridgeshire and Peterborough received target hardening measures.
'Light at the end of the tunnel'
Sharon believes encouraging more people to talk about domestic abuse through showing what support is on offer will help tackle the problem, and has praised the work of police.
"Police are intervening and they need to build the trust with the victim because unless you can showcase to them there is support and not left to go back in that situation, they'll not come forwards so it takes every part of society to make a difference," she said.
"If anyone is listening and you're in that abusive situation, I won't say the next step is an easy one because it isn't, but there is light at the end of the tunnel and people that can step in to get you back to that happy place where you're not experiencing abuse."
Sharon has told us some of the key signs to look out for when identifying domestic abuse.
"Maybe they're in a honeymoon period and don't want to come out, but it could be they're starting to be isolated; if you think 'I haven't spoken to that friend for three months', time flies, so be aware that someone could be isolated over time from you," she added.
"If you notice your friend, family member, colleague is starting to change their behaviour, maybe more quiet, upset, distant, distracted, they are signs of potential abuse.
"If you feel something isn't right, ask the question 'are they okay?'"
Where can I get support?
Below are some of the support services you can access if you've been affected by what's been raised in this article:
- The National Domestic Abuse Helpline: 0808 2000 247 (run by Refuge)
- The National LGBT+ Domestic Abuse Helpline is 0800 999 5428 (run by Galop)
- Respect Men's Advice Line on 0808 8010 327 for male domestic abuse survivors
- In an emergency, call 999.