Bereaved Basingstoke couple help create memory garden
The garden at Basing House is for parents who've lost a baby
A memory garden has recently opened just outside Basingstoke to provide a peaceful area for parents who have lost a baby – and it’s all thanks to kind-hearted parents who themselves have experienced the devastation of baby loss.
Jasmine Wheaton and Matt Snook from Basingstoke welcomed the arrival of their beautiful twins last year but, before giving birth, the couple knew that their daughter Evie had Edward’s syndrome which meant she was not expected to survive long. After the safe arrival of both babies, Evie died just 99 minutes later.
The couple took Noah home to begin life as a new family but after just two weeks he became poorly with a sudden illness completely unrelated to Evie’s, Group B Strep and sepsis, and was taken to the John Radcliff Hospital in Oxford for specialist care. There the couple was given the devastating news that Noah had suffered severe brain damage and was unlikely to make a recovery.
Amazing
“Laura Mackie from the maternity bereavement team was amazing,” Matt recalls. “When we were far away in hospital with Noah, Laura arranged to get the three of us back to the butterfly suite in Basingstoke so we could say goodbye to Noah in the room we lost Evie. She arranged everything so quickly and on a weekend. Her compassion to help us outside of her working hours and ability to get this sorted so quickly made an impossibly hard moment to deal with so much easier.”
It was in the hospital’s butterfly suite, a home from home environment providing privacy and comfort allowing parents to spend as much time as they need with their baby after birth, that the couple took the heartbreaking decision to switch off Noah’s life support. He died at just 21 days old.
The family has since received support from Hampshire Hospitals Charity through its forget me not fund, which seeks to provide a range of services to the baby loss community, and, when the funerals came around, they asked for people to donate to the charity so they could help others who find themselves in the same unimaginable position.
Useful
Talking about the support they received, Matt said; “We didn’t expect it at all. The whole team was just perfect and the ongoing support we have received has been incredible. I’ve even joined a football team supported by the charity for bereaved dads and it’s been a huge help to me to be with others in the same situation. Because of all this, we wanted to use the money raised to help give back and provide something that other parents would find useful.”
The funds have now been used to create a memory garden at Old Basing House in Evie and Noah’s name and it’s open to all parents who suffer the heartbreak of baby loss.
“It’s a really comforting place,” said Jasmine as she saw it for the first time. “It’s a place for parents to come to have some private time. It feels surreal to think we’ve managed to achieve this and create a haven that parents can retreat to if they have nowhere to go to remember their baby and we’re pleased that it’s now here for people to come and use.”
To thank the team that cared for them, Matt will be undertaking a fundraising bike ride on Sunday 25 May from the John Radcliff Hospital in Oxford to Basingstoke and North Hampshire Hospital to raise valuable funds for the charity to help fund care for other bereaved families. If you’d like to support Matt and the family with their fundraising, you can donate at hampshirehospitalscharity.org
Jasmine is now pregnant again and, while understandably a little apprehensive, the couple is now looking forward to welcoming their new baby.