'A lot of expectations on a new mum', says Bucks mother as she opens up about birth trauma
Her traumatic birth has left her with invisible scars, eleven years on
A mother from High Wycombe has spoken out about her traumatic birth experience to raise awareness of birth trauma and the support needed for those affected.
Heather, who volunteers for the Birth Trauma Association, experienced a placental abruption at home when she was 40 weeks pregnant.
Speaking to Greatest Hits Radio, she described the moment everything went wrong.
She said: "I just was sat watching, believe it or not, the British Bake Off and I can remember it so vividly because of the trauma. And I just thought, oh, I've got a bit of a backache. I wonder if this is labour starting. And I got up and there was blood."
Heather immediately called an ambulance, which took an hour to turn up.
By the time she arrived at Stoke Mandeville Hospital, both she and her baby were in serious condition.
"I was scanned straight away and they screamed, ‘Placental abruption,’ and that was it. Within two minutes of arriving at hospital, my daughter was out via C-section with general anaesthetic," she said.
Her daughter was immediately transferred to Oxford due to complications, while Heather remained at Stoke Mandeville.
Heather eventually made it to Oxford, where she was able to be closer to her baby, who had suffered a brain injury and was undergoing therapeutic cooling.
Her experience echoes that of thousands of women each year, who come away from childbirth having gone through trauma.
Each case can be very different. Some reflect very long or very short labours, others are about physical issues while some are to do with thoughts and emotions.
Some birth trauma can be about concerns for baby's health, while others are about issues with the level of care on offer to mums at the time.
Around one in 20 new mums will develop PTSD as a result of their experience, and around 1% of birth partners also develop issues as a result of what they've witnessed from a bedside.
For Heather, the experience left lasting emotional scars, and she found that support was lacking.
She said: "It took me a long time, actually. I had a breakdown when my daughter was six months old.
"It's really hard and there's a lot of expectations on a new mum, and sometimes you just don't have the mental bandwidth to deal with it on top of all the trauma. It's hard.
"I was actively told, ‘Be grateful you're both alive.’ Yes, of course I'm grateful we're both alive, but surely that shouldn't be the peak of our acceptance.
"You live with it for the rest of your life. You just find ways of dealing with it and coping with it and managing it."
Opening up a wider conversation around birth trauma
It's an issue that impacts up to 30,000 women every single year, leaving 4-5% of new mums dealing with PTSD. An issue coming at a time we're told will be one of the happiest of our lives.
Made in Chelsea star Louise Thompson is on a mission to normalise the conversation about birth trauma, after her experience with her son Leo. Louise gave birth to Leo in November 2019 - but it was far from straightforward.
Louise had to undergo an emergency operation, and her new son was delivered by emergency caesarean. To compound the situation he also stopped breathing for a short time and two separate haemorrhages saw Louise lose 'litres' of blood.
Further health complications later meant Louise have her colon removed, and a stoma fitted.
How to find support
Dr Kim Thomas from the Birth Trauma Association is encouraging people who've been affected by birth trauma to talk about it, and to give people ideas around how to listen to those who want to speak out.
Dr Kim said: "It's really important that you speak up, or that other people speak up for you.
"You've been through a really traumatic experience, you deserve to be heard, and you need to be gentle with yourself...I'd really urge people to get help if they can, because therapeutic help is the best way of getting through this."
If you've been impacted by birth trauma, and want to see what help is out there, the Birth Trauma Association has email support and a helpline you can call. They can also provide access to a private Facebook group.
Bliss offers support for people affected by sick or premature babies.
And there's more information about birth trauma, and further links to support via Make Birth Better.
If you want to find mental health services where you are, visit the Hub of Hope.